The office awkward guy

"That one guy" in the office.  You all know him, can barely remember his name if at all, and are completely annoyed anytime he shows his awkward face.  I myself have fallen victim to this tragedy time to time, I have a few examples.  First of all I hope you have seen "Office Space" if not, you may not fully understand this reference...  So I am sitting in my wonderfully decorated cubicle (a hint of sarcasm) and just keyboard punching away, the time is probably around 7:20AM, and I am not a morning person by any means.  Normally I would have some headphones in or a fan going just so it isn't silent, but not this time, just dead silent.  Now the opening to the cubicle is behind me so I don't always see when someone is coming in or wants to talk, etc. 

Out of nowhere I here "Goooood morning CJ, how's it going?" In a low drab tone, mind you EXACTLY like Bill Lumbergh in Office Space, now I thought, "this guy has to be screwing with me", haha you have seen the movie too, blah blah... But no.  He was just that awkward guy coming to talk to me about bullshit for 10 minutes while I acted like I was busy and kept turning back to my computer and pounded at the keyboard a bit.  Now this was not the first interaction with this being, just one of the memorable ones. It happens a few times a week now because I made the mistake of talking with another co-worker about a video game he also has interest in and he swiftly came over to our conversation and butted in explaining he enjoyed the same game.  That pretty much killed the entire conversation, because nobody really likes talking with him, so we all went back to doing our own thing.  About 20 minutes later I get an email from him asking to play with me and some friends on our server, and the well crafted email was ridiculously pretentious and just screamed "I am so full of my self that Narcissus would cringe".

I immediately forwarded the email to some friends because it literally made me laugh out loud.  Whenever he comes over to get a cup of coffee, I just duck down and act like I am so busy that I have no time to converse with him, Yet he still comes over and being asked no questions feels the need to fill me in on every detail of work he needs to do today and how busy it will be... How about this, leave me the hell alone, go sit in your cube and do your work with out letting me know all of the details, because I don't honestly think that I could care any less about your day.  Now I know that I am probably coming off like a bitter asshole, which is fine, I can accept that role.  I know I am not the only one with this floating around their brain, and most of the people around in my area have the same damn things to say about him that I do so I can't be all wrong taking this stance.  My message to that guy or girl in the office; Why do you feel the need to drown people in your boring ass details of work? If you wanted to be my friend, come over, ask if I'm busy, if not, go off on something you don't like about work or a hobby we may have in common, but do it with out butting in to another person's conversation, or just being completely socially awkward, get off your damn high horse and talk to me like another drone in the corporate world.

Thank you.

Jersey Shore/Fake Tans

When I think about Jersey Shore, a few moronic thoughts come to mind.  First of all fake and stupid people, now I will be honest with all of you and clearly state before I begin that I have never watched this program, do not plan on watching it and honestly could not pick any of the actors/actresses out of a group of 20 people.  That being said, I have asked numerous people about why they are so intrigued by this idiocracy (it's a word don't judge me)... "it is so funny because they are so stupid" Is about the only real answer I can pry out of people.  My rebuttal is this; "If they are so stupid, why are you the ones glued to the TV for every new episode like it is the only thing on?" Now I am not downplaying the fact that they are probably handicapped in at least on way, based on the stories I have heard, but I mean, they are getting paid to continue being stupid, because you are stupidly watching them! I am not saying "go pick up a book its a better use of your time!" because I can't even do so and being a hypocrite is not really high on my to do list right now, all I am saying is take an IQ test, watch an episode, and see how much dumber you become.

Moving on to Fake tanning, which in doing a quick Google search basically describes Jersey Shore...
Once again, I live in Oregon. Enough stated we get sun MAYBE 2 months a year, and the rest of the time its raining or at least cloudy... So right off the bat, if you live here and are tan, its probably fake... moving along, with obvious known risks to skin cancer from UV rays, and membership costs (which I can only assume run fairly expensive guessing $40-$120 monthly?) you would think at least some of these damn orange peels would reconsider this "investment".  I know that the sun also emits harmful UV rays, and I love being out in it in the summer, but I wear SPF "thehighestIcanfind" so I can block as many as possible, I personally don't particularly want skin cancer at my ripe young age, why you subject yourself to the threat it willingly and regularly (several times a week if not every day) even get burned at the tanning salon sometimes is far beyond me.  I myself couldn't give to craps in hell about your damn skin tone, I am whiter than a piece of paper!  Now then come the excuses "I want to be darker, I want to look hotter for my significant other".  If you have a significant other, are they REALLY judging you on skin tone? or is it actually your selfishness and self consciousness that is eating away at you? take a quick tip from a nerdy, overweight, pale ass nobody: "Nobody that matters to you will judge you on your goddamn skin tone!!!!" and I say "that matters to you" because if you know someone who actually thinks less of you because you are not tan, they really deserve to trip into a ditch or at least be hit by a speeding truck.  If you are self concious about how you look, ok, so exercise, work out whatever, but skin tone cannot make that big of a difference on how you view yourself, if it does, come to my house, I will gladly spray paint you darker... less UV!

Uggs and Miniskirts

Starting off, I already hate the idea and look of the “UGG Boot” it is not an attractive shoe and the only reason I can imagine that it is popular at all is because of the cost, and perhaps comfortable. Beyond that, I don’t see it as footwear I would willingly wear out in public as a “fashion” statement.  Before anything else, I am NOT considering myself by any means a fashion expert, just someone who sees some of societies version of it a bit flawed.   But what I can assume is they are comfortable and keep your feet warm in the cold… Am I correct?

Moving along, the combo of a short jean skirt and the boots just seems like a walking oxymoron to me, I mean, you are wearing something to keep your feet and ankles warm, but you feel the need to expose 2/3 of your leg, it seems like you may be defeating the purpose a little bit.  This is probably on my top 10 list of clothing pet peeves that I see walking around in Oregon mind you…  It is fair weather for 80% of the year, rain, wind, etc.… In the winter, your legs must be freezing, in the summer you look stupid because you are wearing boots not flip flops… you need to make a decision on what season you are making the outfit for… not half way in between, please, my brain is going to explode.